Guess who came to Dinner

CHAPTER 1 - The Day Dawns

Long, balmy summer days in Rural Kent with Family and Friends! Remember "The Darling Buds of May"? Well, take away the Kentish countryside, add back in a touch of Torremolinos beach, some extra August swelter and there you have the picture. Perfick as Pa would say! And so it was, just perfect, solamente perfecto.

I wasn't up too early as it happened because of the extremely late night before. But having got up, and with not the slightest murmur coming from behind the bedroom door I began to quietly busy myself peeling spuds, putting breadcrumbs into soak, starting a stockpot etc etc. Everytime I went to a cupboard to get something be it a pot or pan, whatever, the whole cupboardful would come crashing down onto the floor. Sod's Law I suppose but, no, not a murmur. She emerged with a stretch and a yawn about 10-00am. "What are you doing?" "I've started to prep the food", "There is plenty of time, we are going to go to the beach", "But!","Beach, when Katy rises, where are your shorts?" More banter over a cup of tea until Katy made her entrance. "Buenas Noches!" said I with a smile having looked at the clock saying 11-00am. Oh what a beautiful grin came my way. Then, from Lary, "Nos vamos a la playa, ahora" "Si senorita!!" I said standing sharply to attention with a click of the heels (which no-one heard because I was barefoot). Oh what a look came my way, "there is time Derek, don't worry", "I know" was my sheepish reply.

The sea was gorgeously warm. The crowds using it were in the way. The sun was relentless. We had a fun time and, this time in, they both got their hair wet. Those two are special. They are Aunt and Niece, but you'd think that they are Mother and Daughter one minute and Sisters the next. It's marvellous to watch their relationship change back and forth as the day (each day) progresses. No photos, which is a surprise as you'll realize later, of "pranks on the prom" but no doubt there will be soon and, anyway, my knees are too knobbly and my shorts keep falling down. Listen to this! Clever clogs tried a handstand only to have to abort halfway through after realizing that something drastic was occurring around the nether regions. A while later, after a freshwater shower on the beach to wash the salt and sand off, we were taking a dripping wet walk home to the apartment here, no towels, no change of clothes, nada. But the sun soon made us forget that dilemma, and don't forget, the beach is only 3 or 4 mins away depending on how fast you walk although I prefer to take at least 10 in certain circumstances, a Time Management thingy!!

CHAPTER 2 - Passing the Afternoon.

Looking at the clock when we got back only to find that it was just 12-30 surprised me. During the walk back I had guessed that it must be about 2pm, so I suddenly had 2 extra unexpected hours so to speak but then 2 words changed everything. "Puedo ayudarte?" Sure you can help me. "Que puedo hacer?" What can you do? Erm...you can stuff the eggs, they are in the fridge. Whilst I was allowed to 'keep control', my position as kitchen supremo disappeared. Larisa took over the helm, steering wherever she thought she should, and together, by 2-30, we produced, or prepared for lastminute cooking a la table, the 5 starter tapas, whilst Katy mopped the terrace tiles (not that I hadn't already), laid out the table setting and many other oddjobs. 2-30pm was the deadline. David (pronounced 'Dahbeed' in Spanish) was due to arrive then and he did just that. After the greeting between him and them Lary asked about the Sangria..."ahora?" "Yes, there is Cava, casera, triple sec, peach schnapps and a jug here and orange and apple in the fridge". "Vale". My, or what had by now become our, dinner party began in earnest when Lary served a few minutes later the aperitivo over a glacé cherry in some 'Babycham' glasses that Tina had kindly let me borrow for the purpose. By now I was beginning to realize that there is actually only one guest. We three are throwing a dinner party and David is the only guest, our guest.

It didn't take David long to realize that Katy is learning to speak English and was soon in "teacher" mode, engrossed in answering her questions about the language and, of course, having Spanish as common ground made communications all the more easy. Those two sat on the terrace nattering while Lary and I fussed over the cooking, plating and presentation of the menu, sitting out when we could with the other two to have our share. 2 hours or so and 2 jugs of Sangria passed in that manner until the Tapas came to end. Paella time! My intention was to cook it from scratch so that everyone would get a relatively long break from eating and that's exactly how it happened, on the terrace, in the open air, with everybody (unexpectedly from my point of view) lending a hand, David's stirring technique is well honed. The only thing missing was the open fire, I used an electric hob that had a big enough hotplate for the job. A huge success, utter perfection including the all-important socarrat. Actually there was too much in the pan leaving me no room for the whole crayfish and unshelled mussel garnish but never mind- hay otro dia!! Most of it went, David in particular discovered an appreciation of paella that he was not aware of before. The party took just over 3 hours and during that time nothing, absolutely nothing, went wrong. A long, slow gastronomic extravaganza indeed.

But the food is not the whole story. Oh no. Guess what? Katy brought a camera. In fact she brought 2 and found 3 more here! "Soy Paparazzi".
You don't say!! She pressed every button she could find in the apartment to see if it went 'click', I beat her to it and put my shirt on!! David has a great sense of humour and loves to tease and I had secretly reclaimed one of my cameras (albeit temporarily) so managed to snap this shot of the girls responding to one of his teases. I think that he has been 'twigged' and I have captioned it accordingly. But thanks to Katy's efforts throughout the afternoon there is a comprehensive photorecord spread between 5 digital cameras including some video somewhere. Talking of video, when the webCam was reinstated to give the wave via the internet she took great interest in seeing a moving image on the computer screen and spent ages shifting the camera around. Then she was told that the whole world can see. "You're joking, the whole world, how?" So she was shown the website pages where the images upload to..."this is what people are watching right now on their computers. " "Wow!!" She was mesmerised. As I write these notes (actually on the Tuesday after) there have already been hits on the cameras since from Russia because (I presume) she has phoned home with the web address. Another entertaining aside - she announced that I remind her of 'Mr Bean.' Oh perlease, I ask you? Naturally David thought that the funniest thing ever and has promised to spread the news throughout Torre. When he told her that that was what he was going to do she put her hand to her mouth and giggled herself almost to tears. Gee, thanks folks.

Chapter 3 - The Evening Surprise

5-45pm and Larisa suddenly brings the party to a close by telling me that they want me to go out with them. "Oh, where?" "Benalmádena. But quickly, there isn't much time". So I collect a pair of trousers from the bedroom only to be told "No, not those, these", after a rummage in my wardrobe, "and this shirt" passing me a white one from somewhere. Then I start to iron them only to be told "I'll do that, it'll be quicker" So then I asked if there was time for a shower. "Yes but be quick." Shortly after we were on our way up the steps having said goodbye to David etc with me having no idea of what was actually happening. We waited by the kerb in the Town Centre for some minutes and then a car pulled up and we all bundled into the back seat. "Derek? Please meet Jesus" (pronounced Haysoos). His wife was beside him in the front. Now I understood. She has made a quick phonecall in Russian (that's why I missed it) and arranged for him to pick us up in town on his way through and he has given her an early ETA, hence the panic. Larisa is always talking about Jesus. She worships him as a friend and no doubt has often spoken to him about me and we are now being presented to each other. He is a Spaniard, speaks perfect Russian and good English, lives in Madrid and is here on holiday after chauffeuring Katy here from Madrid Airport. Very much a family friend. His first words to me were "You have to study Russian Derek, it's difficult but you have to do it". My reply was that for the time-being Spanish was enough to cope with which made him laugh "yes, I understand". We were going to get on like a house on fire. After a stop-off at a supermarket we made our way to his apartment where his wife, Larisa and Katy prepared food. "We are not eating again are we?" was my desperate question to Katy. "No, this is for Jesus, his wife prepares his meal now". "Ah, vale, bueno". Back in the living room Jesus cracked a bottle of Faustino VII red and we two started to get to know each other better. Eventually the food appeared on the table. Pork, salad, fruit, bread and olives. "Bon provecho" beckoned his wife. Courteously I took some. Actually pork with a slice of banana is quite nice but apart from some orange and a few grapes I didn't eat much more, after all I was only an hour or so away from my last spoonful of paella. A 2nd bottle of wine was opened whereupon I decided to take a photo while I could still stand! It actually shows all of us, you can see me in the mirror!

As darkness fell Lary asked if I fancied a dip in the pool down in the garden. "I don't have my shorts here". That niggle was soon solved but the pool turned out to be closed. "What about the beach then?" she suggested. Which meant that we all had to pile into the car again for a short drive. The Security Gate was shut. Jammed. Eventually the Janitor arrived and then disappeared again for tools and then returned. Give him his due, he did coax the gate open but by then it was too late for the beach because folk have to work in the morning. I said to Jesus that I could catch a bus back. "Not a word of it, I am taxi tonight and you are being taken back to your apartment". I asked them to drop me at the top of Calle San Miguel from where I could walk, which was done. Back indoors and straight to bed. In the morning I happened to check my mobile as I awoke only to find a txt, received at 0107...."Hello Derek, how are you, we are at home now. Thanks for everything, we will see each other soon. In Málaga there is a fair, one day we go, Besos", or, in other words, (I suspect that) next weekend is already being planned.
Bags I keep my bed.