Get Derek!!

Well, I was planning to go and get some mince today to stuff a pepper with but stuff that, it's raining, it's cold and it's just downright miserable outside so I'll stuff myself later with something else that doesn't involve going shopping. Talking about stuffing, Tina & Barry's meal yesterday was the stuff of 5 star restaurants. Incredibly delicious. I'm not going to give an account of it blow by blow but the starter, a prawn cocktail, deserves special mention and a copy of their creation will be produced here in My Kitchen quite soon. I did wear the jacket that Juan gave me plus matching trousers, shirt and tie and turned up at the their door to "gould luv us ducky, we're all dressed up, got somewhere to go have we?" I thought that I looked the "bee knees". In fact, I was so pleased with my appearance that I went straight on to work after rather than change into something else at the apartment on the way by.

Mistake. I should have known better. David and Ann called in on the way back from the shops and David just loves a tease. Later, after they had left I was standing in the doorway rocking on my heels when Juan himself drove up and with a squeal of brakes skidded to a stop just past me. A quick flick into reverse and through the electrically opening window as he backed up came "muy guapo, ohh la la!" I gave him a twirl there and then after which, and with a satisfied smile, he went on his way "to watch football, see you later maybe."

Life was suddenly quiet again. Barry came by and dropped off the Loaf Tin I'd asked him to get for me on one of his shopping trips (he goes to shops where they sell that kind of thing, I don't). 8 euros changed hands and I now have the technology to make my own bread. And why not, my new chef's assistant came with a dough hook and I want to put it to good use. Then a group of noisy Geordies called in. "Sorry about all the swearing guv". "There are no ladies present so I'm not unduly bothered " I replied, which they accepted, and after 1 round left, heading back to their hotel and, probably for some, the mother of all headaches.

All quiet again so I put a Queen disc in the player and began listening to Freddie Mercury. "You are all on your alone Derek!" "Yes Hilde, will it be your usual?" "Yes, I take just one then I go home, I have been to Benalmadena with my girlfriend, to a Japanese restaurant, I just get back and I am tired." Now, I've got a tie on and I can't hide that fact and I'm getting worried that she's going to tease about that because I suddenly remembered her telling me some months ago "DON'T wear a tie!! No!!" But she preferred to talk about her meal and gave me a colour brochure from the restaurant to back up her description of what she ate. When I tried to give it back to her she said "no, it is for you". As it happens I do want to try Japanese food sometime and now have a picture of what suchi and suchimi look like. I offered her another wine 'on me' which she didn't refuse..."oh all right, I stay for just one more then I go home!" Yes Hilde.

The reason why I'm working is of course because Beryl et al have gone to dinner with Ana-Mary and Favio. Having finished the meal Favio taxied everybody back to the bar and in they came. Sober. Sober? "Too much food, no time to drink, give me a vodka, quick" said Randy (Beryl's American Husband). "Muy elegante, muy elegante" beamed Ana-Mary in my direction. Why thankyou said I in return. Then this american accent came back over the bar "yeah, but shame about the tie" Here we go. Get Derek. Again. "What's wrong with the tie?" "Too, er, thin, and anyway, where's the funeral?" "It's brown not black, I'm colour cordinated" I countered, laying the tie over my arm and the jacket sleeve to press home my point. "Well, it's still too thin". And on the banter went over the first drink that was Favio treat, who with a faint nod towards Hilde's glass had silently told me to top hers up as well. "No, please, I go home now". Too late. She did eventually grasp an opportunity to leave, vacating her stool that was then very shortly reoccupied by Lisa. Lisa works in a bar along the road and usually closes before Ana's Bar does, sometimes calling in for a wind-down snifter on her way home. She adores cats and the local moggies adore her, very often following her as she goes on her ways and, tonight, she'd had to put up with the noisy Geordies before I did and was glad to have a moment or two of relaxation at the bar I think.

"Ana-Mary has told me that you have an admirer" announced Beryl. Oh! Was I the topic of conversation over the canapes? But, and before I could comment, back came that American accent again, "yeah, and she's insane!!" More banter followed during which it began to become clear that I was not going to be told who this insane admirer was. Lisa was taken into the confidence. But not me. I began to guess (in my own mind) and actually got it right because Ana-Mary eventually relented and gave me a rock-solid clue or two. I've met the Lady once. She is not insane, she's actually a Lawyer but does lead a stressful life coping with an elderly and infirm Mother I believe.