What a Day

As it turns out I have had a hard time coming to terms with the loss of Juan. Opening the bar at 5pm, no problem, receiving the mourners at 5-45pm, no problem, going for a meal at Ann & Bill's invitation after work (a separate, pre-planned, issue entirely which included David) no problem, returning to a rowdy, busy Bar de Ana 2 hours later, a problem. I perceived disrespect, no, wrong word, ignorance, but then many of the clients were holidaymakers and would have had no idea, fair comment, but not all were and that's what I found difficult to come to terms with. Amelio and Randy saw my dilemma and came to my side while I cried, but if ignoring the day's earlier drama is the norm for the rest of the local society then I want no more, my grief goes deeper than that. I read a Eulogy (privately) written by Helen which encapsulated everybody's thoughts about the man perfectly, but life still carries on as if nothing has happened. Of course it does, that IS life. Rosemary, Colin, Gerry, Mandy, Gert, Ann, and now Juan.....when will it all end? And I know that that is a very short list, Ole-Erik tells me that we have lost 15 in the last few years. Maybe David is right, but, for christ's sake, don't tell him I just said that.

It is piddling down with rain.